Formal Vs. Informal

There is such a thing as a free gift. It just depends on who is giving the gift and who is receiving the gift. While there are times of the year that people give gifts, such as Christmas, birthdays, or anniversaries, there are other times that people give each other gift purely because they care for each and are not expecting anything in return. I give my close friends presents all throughout the year, not just on their birthdays. These gifts are given not as a way of ensuring that I get a gift in return (economical gain) but to express my feelings for them. If I see an object or item that reminds me of one of my friends, I will buy it for them because it has special meaning: it reminded me of them and I chose it carefully. I would be insulted if I gave a friend a gift and they turned around and had to rummage through their room to find a gift to give back to me. It would both demean my gift and not be heartfelt from them. Yes, it would be nice to always get presents in return but only if they are genuinely given. I have numerous times given friends Christmas presents even when they have told me they can’t afford to get me a Christmas present. While I do probably subconsciously expect a birthday gift in exchange for the gift I gave them for their birthday, as is tradition, I do not expect gifts in return for “unannounced” or random gifts that I wish to shower my friends with. Nor, if I found out a friend would not be giving me a gift for my birthday (because of funding) would that lead me to refrain from buying them a gift. However, if a friend did not buy me a gift because they were either too lazy or spent their money on something else, I would probably be upset. Not because they didn’t get me a gift but because their actions (or lack of action) shows their carelessness and how they value our friendship.
However the reading does make valid points about other gifts that are given voluntarily but a gift is expected back. When my relatives send me cards (a form of a “gift) I have been taught to send a card back thanking them. In formal relations, as opposed to informal ones, I think it is polite to exchange gift for gift. But the key is that most of the time, when we perform these “voluntary” gift exchanges with expectations, we both know the expectations because it is more of a business exchange. It would be completely different if one of us was sending a gift and expecting something in return, but the gift receiver was unaware of the gift’s implication. It all depends on the relationship between two people: formal or informal.