For this week's assignment, then discuss one of the following topics:
1) People in traditional communities in countries where the state is either weak or absent depend on relatives to help meet the basic challenges of survival.
In such societies, would it be risky to choose marriage partners exclusively based on romantic love? Can you imagine other factors playing a role if the long-term survival of your community might be at stake?
2) Many people in North America and Europe choose to have children outside of marriage. Considering some of the major functions of marriage, do you think there is a relationship between the type of society an individual belongs to and the choice to forgo the traditional benefits of marriage? Under what cultural conditions might the choice to remain unmarried present serious challenges?
To answer these questions, then you will want to take into account the Haviland chapter titled: "Sex, Marriage, and Family."
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In many societies, it is considered risky to marry for romance. It was mentioned in the chapter that some women in Africa have to marry each other so that together they can survive. A family is not defined by the sex or love of the people in the mariage but of how they benefit from each other in that marriage. If a certain culture or population of a place is going down the drain, marrying romantically would not suffice for survial in the long run. As a population dwindels, the more it disapeas everyday. Romance is not always possible because it takes time to find, and sometimes it just does not exist in the current group of people in that setting.
There are some obvious downfalls to pre-arranged marriages and its probably a lot easier to be in a partnership and raise children with someone who you love. However, I think it's still understandable that some cultures have to rely on arranged marriages for their survival, especially in communities within a weak state. Western culture is generally more individualistic and most Americans couldn't imagine marrying someone they weren't in love with, but in a society where the more people in a family, the greater chance of survival, marriages of convince are key. It may also be that too much emphasis is placed on "being in love" in Western culture. If we changed our definition of marriage and our expectations of maintaining the feeling of being in love over a life-time, maybe divorce rates would drop significantly.
Any case to marry for romantic love in a society that is struggling might be perilous not only for yourself but just as well as the children you bring into the situation. Life is not a fairy tale you can’t fall in love and just survive on love alone.
I understand why people would rather not get married and have children outside of marriage. Seeing that after getting married a lot of people fall out of love very quickly
Being a child of a couple who have never been married and never plan on getting married, I see nothing wrong with my life nor any problem they are facing with society. Making a commitment to marriage is a big deal. (And like my dad says my kids get everything I own no matter what). When I was young I am pretty sure when talking about family I always said my parent were married, I didn’t want explain their ethics on why they aren’t. Now I don’t care, I feel as if I have superiority. Yes, some may say marriage brings the family together, but if you already have the bond with your family why bother. It is just another card to buy and also a way to loose money. Even as a catholic I see no big deal about marriage, as long as I am with someone I love. I feel that I speak high of my parents because they are together. They didn’t waste money two ways through marriage and divorce.
I of course have a different perspective my parents are together others aren’t as lucky. Growing up with a single mom and/or dad might be harsh and might think if their parents were married life would have been easy. It has came to be moderate to not have a dad growing up or parents not married. If you want to go that in depth it has also not a big deal to see a 16 year old to have a baby, this does not necessarily mean it is a good thing.
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